Other times we fail in our attempts to be caring because we don’t understand what they want. I remember on several occasions men around me and perhaps even myself saying, "you just can’t understand women." It certainly feels that way sometimes, but that is not a biblical perspective on the matter. There are two factors involved here. One is that I don’t have to understand women, only my wife. I don’t have to understand how to please your wife and you don’t have to understand how to please mine. The second is that I can understand my wife if I put my mind to it and gain the knowledge of her that I should.
1 Corinthians 7:33 explains, "... he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife." It is not a sinful thing to please your wife, in fact, Paul says the husband should love the wife as his own body. I dare say many men know their own bodies far better than they know their wives. Additionally, a man I admire quite a bit who was an imperfect man(one who had problems to overcome), a preacher, an elder (which means he was married), and an apostle; Peter said, " Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." 1 Peter 3:7. Notice that we will have difficulty ever giving her honor without dwelling according to knowledge.
So what are you doing to understand your wife. What pleases her? What upsets her? What do you know about her? I mean REALLY know, not just think you know. Spend some time learning what you thought you already knew. Realize, especially if you have been married for several years, that your wife is not the same person she was when you met or when you married. If you don’t adjust to the changes you will grow farther apart rather than closer together.