I remember the first time I could run faster than my dad. It was exhilarating to be able to beat him, but it was also the beginning of my realization that he was not perfect. There was something I was able to do better than him and as I matured and he aged there became more of those things physically. There will come a time, most likely, when there will be other things that he cannot do that I will have to help him with, and that will be an adjustment as well. 

There was a time when I realized that he was not only physically vulnerable, but spiritually imperfect as well. I don’t remember the exact moment that occurred, but one event that imbedded it within me was when he apologized for provoking me to wrath. 

At some point our children will notice that we have problems and are not perfect people. It is better if we own up to it and show them how to confess and repent and grow instead of putting on airs. One of the things that causes problems is the old idea that you should never have to say you’re sorry, especially to those you love. With all due respect, in fact probably more respect than is due, that is ignorance run amok. The people we love should be the first that we apologize to when we have hurt them. 

Some people are afraid that they will lose the love and respect of their children if they admit their problems and weaknesses. The truth is that when you are a fake and a hypocrite you lose respect. Children will see through the pretending and even though they may continue to love their parents they will not respect them. Jesus said that the truth will set you free. Just be honest with yourself, your spouse, and your children. - jp

Why do we pretend? I don’t mean children playing dress up princess, or cops and robbers kind of pretending. Indications are that to a degree those pretending games that children participate in are good and healthy. No, the pretending I am referring to is done by adults, especially parents, when they pretend that they are always right and have everything together. It happens when a parent gets angry and yells or disciplines in anger and then blames the child for their own lack of self-control. It happens when they ask a child a question, the child answers it, they don’t pay attention to the answer, and then they get angry at the child for not answering. There are hundreds of other scenarios where we as parents pretend we know it all and are always right.

Many times parents pretend because they are afraid they will lose their children’s respect and be viewed as weak if their children see them have problems. Well, guess what. You may fool little children by pretending, but with older children the only one you’re fooling is yourself. They see your mistakes and if you pretend otherwise you become what is known as a hypocrite. You will lose their respect if you pretend you are something you are not.

That does not mean we revel in sin or accept our problems as "just the way I am". It is incredibly important for our children to see that dad messes up, but he is trying to do what is right. Children are going to fail and mess up, too, and they need to know what to do when it happens. How are they going to learn how to deal with their own sins and shortcomings? Most likely from watching how their parents deal with it when they sin and come short.

Let’s stop pretending. Own up, man up and be big enough to admit that you are not as big as you should be. Denying sin is committing an additional sin. It is lying and some of need to sit down with our children and look at them face to face and apologize for lying to them. Some will be lost because of this life of hypocrisy, don’t be one of them.