Are you looking for some good, clean, family fun? I wanted to let you know that we are going to start a new blog on the Build Your Wall site. The new blog will be to present family friendly alternatives to the popular entertainment of the day. We will have movie reviews, book and game reviews, maybe even ideas for a fun, educational, family night. We will start by putting up video reviews of some movies that are positive over the next few weeks. There are a multitude of possibilities and no telling what will be added. Look for the new page to be added this week. It will be called Shameless Fun.

One more short note, encourage your wives to check out my article for wives at Come Fill Your Cup. http://comefillyourcup.com/2013/03/27/be-the-wife-your-husband-needs/

Based on learning from mistakes that we covered last week, I want to give you fathers out there something to consider for your family. This is also something that goes hand in hand with the Building Boundaries subject that we looked at in the series Behind Enemy Lines. Knowing who you are, where you are, where you want to be, and how to get there and stay there is important for growth individually and as a family. It is ineffective to sit around telling everyone else what they should do and not being willing to make changes yourself. I am posting a generic form of questions to ask yourself and each other member of the family. You have to start with yourself first, then your spouse and then the children. If you want your children to fly higher than you have ever reached you have to show them the possibility by flying higher than you have in the past to give them hope. Many children with great potential are dragged down by the downward, negative pull of their parents. 

As you look at these questions you will notice that there is a paragraph at the beginning of the wife’s section. This was written for my wife and is specific to our situation, so if you use this you will need to rewrite that to fit your family. Notice that it is full of compliments, looking at what we have accomplished, and putting out the hope that we can do even more. When you talk to your wife (or even children) about these things do it with a positive spirit of hope for the future to be better than the past and present. If you point out problems, start with the things you have done wrong, with a spirit of humility, not in arrogance or with finger pointing and blaming. Remember that as the husband and father God holds you accountable and responsible for your family’s direction and propulsion.

You will also notice generic phrases like ‘each son’ or ‘each daughter’. Personalize these and answer the questions for each one individually, not as a group. You may need more space than what is provided. In my original I have a separate page for each child with their names on the appropriate questions. Obviously, these questions will not be grasped by small children, and even some school-aged children may need some prompting or explanation. 

This is not something to do one time and stick in a file somewhere, it is like a map or set of directions that must be revisited regularly to make it to your goal. Don’t forget, you are going somewhere you have never been before. At each turn we need to adjust our vision. If my directions are to go 10 miles and turn right on highway 1, then go 3 miles and turn left on highway 2, etc. Once I have made the turn on highway 1 it would be foolish for me to think that I should drive 10 miles and look to turn right on highway 1. Once we have done that step we have to move on to the next step. We need to come back to our goals and visions to see what we have accomplished and how the future may look different. Goals for a 4 year-old are very different from goals for a 14 year-old. Goals for a newlywed couple are different from the goals of a couple with 4 young kids or a couple with grown kids or a couple with grandkids. 

Feel free to download these questions below and use them to help point you in the right direction.
jp

It is good to get advice from people who have traveled the road that you are going to travel. They can warn you of dangers. As the saying goes ‘hindsight is 20/20'. Here is an article from Phil Sanders who has adult children. He looks back at some of the things he wishes he had done better when they were young. You can find more helpful articles at focuspress. - jp

http://www.focuspress.org/files/Articles/July__08_think_pgs_12___13.doc

Here is an article on how we define success. What if you get to the top of the ladder only to find that it was leaning against the wrong wall? This article is worth our time and attention.  There are many more available at www.focuspress.org - jp

http://www.focuspress.org/files/Articles/July__08_think_pgs_22_23proofedjp_edit.doc

James and Dawn Pasley had the opportunity to teach lessons in Pineville, LA during their series on the family. Their topic was 'When a House of 2 Becomes a House of 7'. James' lesson to the men was 'Who Is Building Your Home?'. Dawn's lesson to the women was 'Maintaining Spiritual Growth as the Family Grows Physically'. You can listen to them below or download them. You can also download his outline and resource list or her Powerpoint and resource list.

Wow! I just saw that 55% of Americans think that watching TV is a great way to spend quality time with their loved ones. Now I enjoy watching TV occasionally, and we may even have a family movie night with pizza. In fact, we are going to do that tonight, and watch one of the movies we got for Christmas (Either Ten Commandments or One Night with the King), but I am under no impression that this is really quality time. You shouldn’t be either. Quality time is time communicating, learning, praying, worshiping, etc. If sitting in the same room with someone starring at a screen makes quality time then think of all the quality time Americans spend with each other in movie theaters each year with people they have never met.

Adult children don’t look back at their lives and think the thing that really turned my life around was when mom and dad started watching TV with me. That doesn’t mean that there are not some common pleasant memories or inside jokes for the family. I don’t believe as some do that there is no place for recreation or entertainment in family life, but of all the different ways family spends time together TV is probably the least quality of all. I dare say that even playing video games together is better that TV because at least there is some interaction with a game while there is none with TV. The only interaction I have ever seen with TV is telling each other to be quiet, arguing over what is going to be watched, or telling someone to get out of the way so you can see. Not exactly the definition of quality time is it.

So, let your brain sleep through a movie every once in a while, but be honest about what is really happening. And, don't forget to check the content first. Could you be comfortable watching with Jesus?

jp

These are two ladies day lessons from I believe 2008 or 2009 Ladies Day at Northside church of Christ in Butler, Alabama.

The topic was the Home in Crisis.
Alice Lyles

Dawn Pasley

Here is your MP3 for today!

Bear Valley Bible Institute of Denver - Chapelcast
The Responsibility of Parents - Shane Belanger
Jan. 25, 2011
http://www.wetrainpreachers.com/storage/audio/chapelcast/2011_0125_SBelanger.mp3