Sexual desire is different for each person, and Paul talks about those who don’t even need to have an outlet because their drive is not that strong. What most couples will find is that one has a stronger drive than the other. I have never known of a couple that was so much in sync that they both wanted sexual activity at the same time every time. No, the fact is that one will be hungry when the other is not and Paul deals with the concept of mutual submission in this area in verses 3 and 4. That means that when one mate has a strong need for intimacy the other will engage even if not physically interested at the time. On the other hand they will respect the other needs in each others' lives as well. If one spouse is ill, the other will force desire to go unfulfilled until a better time, or in cases where it is not an appropriate time or place. One of the ways Christians discipline themselves to be able to go without during those times of sickness or separation is through the training of sexual fasting.
This type of fasting is not just a matter of a couple saying, "we couldn’t find time this week" or "one of us was out of town", but a determination together of planning, for example, a date for the next Friday night. they could send the kids to the grandparents for the weekend. They could have a 24 hour fast from food after supper Thursday. After work on Friday the husband could pick up the wife for a date. They could be dressed up and go out to their favorite restaurant. They could abstain from each other until then(Maybe 3 to 10 days) they could even go so far as avoid seeing each other naked or dressing and undressing. Then they could enjoy their night together. It doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t give each other a hug or a goodbye kiss as they leave for work, but that we would save the deeper acts of intimacy for that night. It is something to look forward to with anticipation. Remember that we said the first meal after a fast tastes better; well, the same is true of sexual pleasure. Solomon said it in Proverbs 27:7, "The full soul loatheth an honeycomb; but to the hungry soul every bitter thing is sweet." One of the things that happens in marriage is that the new can wear off, and we can become bored. People get used to seeing and being seen unclothed, touching and being touched, caressing and being caressed, so that while it is still pleasurable, it does not compare to what it used to be, and what it could be.
(On a side note: This is also one of the multitude of problems associated with pornography. Looking constantly at sexualized images dulls people to them, just as a drug addict soon reaches the point where the level of drug must be increased. The addict will also look for other drugs to get a high and men and women will seek other partners to try to get what they once had with their spouse and could easily have again if they would practice some self-control and self-denial. They may not have had pornography like modern times back in Solomon’s day, but Solomon had instead of pictures of naked women, a living collection. He wound up with a thousand women because he never learned to be satisfied with the wife of his youth even though his father, who had the same problem, warned him and told him to do that very thing. - Proverbs 5:16-20)
Take the challenge and fast sexually for a period longer than you regularly are apart. If you generally come together every two or three days try fasting for six. If one of you is an every day gotta have it person, try 2 days without and be together again the third day. One of the things that can sometimes happen by doing this is that it allows the lover with the lesser desire to actually begin to hunger and as we all know from Proverbs 27:7 everything tastes better when you are hungry. I firmly believe you will find it worth sacrificing for a short time to gain benefits in the long run, but don’t take my word for it God said it. Try it for yourself and if you are not completely satisfied with the results you can have your money back!